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Conversations with My Toilet: The Kohler Smart Toilet

Now you can personalize your throne for the ultimate toileting experience.

My toilet kicks your toilet’s butt. Or, at least it can really debate it! Why? Because Kohler has once again upped the ante with a new paradisiacal product. Okay, maybe it can’t physically beat its butt (there’s a pun in there somewhere and yes, it’s intended). It does, however, know everything Google’s Alexa does.

Walking into the restroom, guests lose their breath as a beam of light comes to life behind a sleek, square and luminous device sitting where a white ceramic toilet should be. It might not be immediate apparent, but this is a wonder of human innovation. If the visuals don’t take your breath away, sit down before it greets you as you faint from the glorious wonder.

King of Thrones

This year, if you forgot the name of your favorite actor or need to know where to buy the newest gadgets, just ask your toilet.

Think some kid with a startup “disrupted” the game? Think again! A whopping 146 years ago, a little plumbing company called Kohler emerged. Today, they are a global behemoth worth billions of dollars. So much so that their toilets talk back to you. This is usually the part where I say subjectively speaking … but not this time!

Introducing the Kohler Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet. The next time someone tells you to get off your butt and do something, object politely because there’s plenty you can do sitting down.

This multi-functional throne is available to the public and it can do as much as your average computer from the comfort of your bathroom. Using state-of-the-art voice control, the sky is the limit. Of course, sanitary functions are only the beginning of what you might expect from a fancy toilet, including drying and heated seat.

Elevating Your Daily Routine

Their press release calls it a “fully-immersive experience” with “lighting and audio,” and additional voice control as a cherry on top. Refreshingly, it’s not considered artificial intelligence like so many other voice-controlled gizmos. This is because Kohler means quality. They don’t hide behind trends and marketing schemes. Plus, this isn’t the first smart toilet, it’s their second rendition.

“Connected technology is driving innovation in the smart home category, but connectivity alone isn’t enough. We believe in leading with design and seamlessly incorporating the right technologies so that our customers can personalize their bathroom experiences to be just right for them,” says David Kohler, President and CEO of Kohler Co.

Previously, the company introduced the KOHLER Konnect line-up that features a smart shower, mirror, and tub. Yes, folks … the rest of the restroom is looking at you and with the introduction of the toilet, it knows you. The line-up includes the Verdera Voice Lighted Mirror, Sensate Touchless kitchen faucet, a DTV+ shower system able to adjust temperature and play music, as well as PerfectFill technology that automatically starts the bath and stops when it reaches maximum capacity. And of course, the hero of the hour, the Numi 2.0 intelligent toilet.

Adventures in Toileting

Inhibition aside, it really feels like the future is upon you. Here is what the company claims will be its pragmatic utilization:

  • In the dark, as you walk up to Numi, the lid will open and treat you to a warm seat; when you walk away, it flushes and closes. Hassle-free for nighttime trips to the bathroom.
  • Use the app or remote to program personalized presets for different users, and you can use voice to access the preset/profile (in case you misplace the remote). There is probably a difference between you, your spouse, and your children when it comes to washing; this lets you easily program and select personalization using voice and the app.
  • Ask Alexa to access your own playlist of songs (if you have Verdera and have Numi set up as an Alexa speaker).

We can’t deny these sexy specifications … just to name a few: enjoy a stainless-steel wand that sanitizes using an impressive UV light, temperature controlled-water cleansing, a heated seat, and touch-free air dryer, ambient lighting (because when I think of pooping, romance comes to mind). Somehow, looking past all the fancy bells and whistles, what I really want is one of the most basic aspects of the device: an automatic deodorizer! Boom, I’m sold.

Potty Price Point

So how much lighter will our wallets be after this purchase? Naturally, you are paying for the development and technology as much as the sleek and sturdy devices Kohler has always been known for. The smart mirrors begin at $1,249 if you opt for the 24-inch version and can be as much as $1,624 for the 40-inch size; the Shower System with voice commands and spa options costs $3,000; and the free-standing bathtub costs $4,849.

What about our chatty potty? This star-trek worthy piece will set you back $7,000 (or $9,000 in black).

Seems pricey but think of the guests you’ll impress and the plumbers you’ll stump! All jokes aside, Kohler really is bringing quality and innovation to the world of personal care. As these pesky necessities are overshadowed by technology, we can concentrate on what’s really important … keeping hackers away from our butt-cheeks.

I guess joking wasn’t aside.

Be amazed, check out the Numi intelligent toilet at the Kohler website.