Ted Rubin Q & A
YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY EXPERIENCED A GREAT DEAL OF SUCCESS IN YOUR LIFE. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT, AND WHY?
My greatest accomplishment, bar none, is remaining in my daughter’s lives and doing everything I can to be an influence. My daughters are 21 and 23 now; I will never, ever give up on being a part of their lives
I truly didn’t understand what life, the world, or anything meant until I had children and discovered how deeply I loved them from the moment I held them in my arms. The universe profoundly changed and I viewed everything in a different light. And that goes double if you have girls.
Although I face all of the usual challenges of being a divorced dad, I’ve always been there for them and will never, ever give up on being a part of their lives. Their mother is/was the custodial parent and therefore primary caregiver. I wanted more involvement, but wasn’t able to make that happen.
My worst moment as a parent came four years after my divorce when I found myself fighting to remain a part of my girls’ lives. Unfortunately, it was incredibly difficult to get a judge to pay attention or care. It ultimately took four months to get them back in my life on a regular basis, and four years to bring their mom somewhat in line to allow continued unfettered access… but an unfettered relationship has never come to pass. Even now their mom continues to do whatever she can to hinder a relationship between me and my girls… my 23 year old cut me off completely almost 1 year ago.
I try to stay connected to my girls, no matter what, and sometimes that means simply lurking around their social presence… or doing a Google search for their social content. I send my 23 year old emails every month or so simply saying hello with no expectation of a reply.
Being a father transcends how we feel moment-to-moment. We have to remember that everything we do is being observed, recorded, and processed by our kids, and is important to their emotional development –– perhaps even more so for children of divorce. They’re always watching, and although they can’t truly understand and process it all now, our interactions are being stored for future analysis, and will affect the way they view the world, to say nothing of how they ultimately live in it.
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS SMOOTH. CAN YOU TALK ABOUT A SETBACK OR TRAGEDY YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED, HOW YOU DEALT WITH IT, AND THE IMPACT IT HAS HAD ON YOU?
Same as discussed in the first question above.
DO YOU SET ASIDE “ME-TIME” IN YOUR CALENDAR, AND WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME TO RELAX?
For the most part all of my time is “me-time.” My business at this point, fortunately, is about me, my life, and my thinking, perspective, and idea. In my spare time, which is very often merged with my engagement and content creation, I like to be outdoors… the beach is my happy place, and I love biking, kayaking, paddle boarding, boating, water and snow skiing, hiking, and swimming.
WHAT’S THE MOST MAGICAL PLACE YOU’VE DISCOVERED WHERE YOU CAN GO TO CHILL OUT?
Far and away the beach… that is my happy place, my “thinking/creative” place, and my chill out place. The mountains run a close second.
DOES PHILANTHROPY PLAY A ROLE IN YOUR LIFE, TO WHAT EXTENT AND HOW?
Philanthropy does play a role. I devote my personal brand and time to some cause related companies, contribute $’s to some organizations on a monthly basis (mostly politically focused at this time as we desperately need to win our country back), and save my more significant donations for people I know personally.
WHO IS ON THE GUEST LIST FOR YOUR IDEAL DINNER PARTY, PRESENT OR PAST?
John F. Kennedy, Joan Baez, James Taylor, Barack and Michelle Obama, and a few of my personal friends including my business partner John Andrews, Kevin Aronin (a dear friend and mentor who passed away a few years ago), and my brother Jeff Rubin.
CAN YOU OFFER ANY WORDS OF WISDOM FOR OUR READERS?
Relationships are like muscle tissue… the more they are engaged, the stronger and more valuable they become.
A network gives you reach, but a community gives you power! Networks Connect…Communities Care.